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CDC Announces Holiday Guidelines

October 18, 2021

Photo courtesy of Associated Press

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) announces new guidelines for the holidays which you can see here. They say to avoid crowded and poorly ventilated areas and to wear a mask indoors if you have not been vaccinated. It is also recommended that vaccinated people wear masks indoors if they risk high transmission.

Additional measures are also recommended to keep masks on while consuming turkey by either cutting a slit in the front of the mask or carefully lifting the mask with a fork while sliding it in. Soft drinks, including alcohol and eggnog should be delivered to the mouth by hose via a hand pump after using generous amounts of hand sanitizer.

Photo courtesy of Al Yancovik

Lastly, it is crucial to wear a mask while Christmas caroling, which on a positive note adds an acoustical dynamic that sounds similar to Gregorian Chant. Everyone sounds great while singing in the shower and now also in a mask.

"Wash your hands while singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer twice before turning off the faucet," says Dr. Fauci. "Also, masks make great stocking stuffers," according to Fauci. That is, if we can get a shipment of masks from China in time for Christmas. We just hope that Christmas isn't ruined because Susie didn't receive the mask that she really wanted.

The full CDC guidelines can be read here:

Steve Wonder, Assistant Editor

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